I found this email in my inbox the other morning:
Dear Lacey,
A coworker gave me a book for Xmas. The note says, "this is one of my favorite books..." I've started reading but, as I arrive at page 10, I find no motivation to continue. I suppose I'll forge ahead for at least a chapter or two. But what does one do when given a gift full of meaning but one is unimpressed with that meaning?
Good question, friend, and one we all certainly find ourselves asking at one point or another. The short answer is to thank the person, place the book on your shelf, and forget about it.
The long answer, and the one I'm sure you're dying to hear, is that I don't think you have any obligation to like the book or find meaning in it. When you think about it, it's pretty selfish to say, "I love this book, so I bought it for you." If the note had said, "I read this book and immediately thought of you," then it might be in your best interest to read on, in order to get some insight into how you are being perceived by this person. But I firmly believe you should only give a gift that you know (or at least strongly feel) the person will appreciate.
I consider myself to be an excellent gift-giver, mainly because I do not give gifts. My Christmas shopping this year took about 25 minutes total, and everything I gave adhered to my simple guidelines for gift-giving:
1. Don't give anyone anything.
Don't plan on getting anyone anything. Don't go looking for gifts. Don't stress yourself out about it. You must remove yourself from the mindset that tells us we must give a gift to everyone we know.
2. If you see something you know someone will like, get it for them.
Do not be confined by holidays or life events. If you find the perfect gift, buy it. You can then save it to give for a birthday or holiday. For more impact, give it for no reason at all.
3. Stick to the plan.
Don't let anyone make you feel like a failure or inadequate for not buying into the craze.
This year I gave 4 gifts total, spent under $50, and didn't stress myself out at all.
Stay tuned for the 4 Christmas gifts I gave, and why they were successful.
Dear Lacey,
A coworker gave me a book for Xmas. The note says, "this is one of my favorite books..." I've started reading but, as I arrive at page 10, I find no motivation to continue. I suppose I'll forge ahead for at least a chapter or two. But what does one do when given a gift full of meaning but one is unimpressed with that meaning?
Good question, friend, and one we all certainly find ourselves asking at one point or another. The short answer is to thank the person, place the book on your shelf, and forget about it.
The long answer, and the one I'm sure you're dying to hear, is that I don't think you have any obligation to like the book or find meaning in it. When you think about it, it's pretty selfish to say, "I love this book, so I bought it for you." If the note had said, "I read this book and immediately thought of you," then it might be in your best interest to read on, in order to get some insight into how you are being perceived by this person. But I firmly believe you should only give a gift that you know (or at least strongly feel) the person will appreciate.
I consider myself to be an excellent gift-giver, mainly because I do not give gifts. My Christmas shopping this year took about 25 minutes total, and everything I gave adhered to my simple guidelines for gift-giving:
1. Don't give anyone anything.
Don't plan on getting anyone anything. Don't go looking for gifts. Don't stress yourself out about it. You must remove yourself from the mindset that tells us we must give a gift to everyone we know.
2. If you see something you know someone will like, get it for them.
Do not be confined by holidays or life events. If you find the perfect gift, buy it. You can then save it to give for a birthday or holiday. For more impact, give it for no reason at all.
3. Stick to the plan.
Don't let anyone make you feel like a failure or inadequate for not buying into the craze.
This year I gave 4 gifts total, spent under $50, and didn't stress myself out at all.
Stay tuned for the 4 Christmas gifts I gave, and why they were successful.
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